An Uninvited Guest and Gift of Orphanhood

 

 

Did all the dishes. Checked…

Cleaned the kitchen platform. Checked…

Chopped the vegetables. Checked…

I checked everything before calling my mistress. Today she approved my work with a slight nod of her head. Still, what I was striving for, a smile and a softness in her eyes were missing.

 I landed at her door a few weeks back. One of my distant relatives arranged this job for me.

“Now onwards this is your home. You should work here like you are working for your own home. Madam is just like your Aai. Don’t ever give her any reasons to complain.” He advised me before taking leave.

Madam hired me as a maid and had some expectations from me. I was trying my best but this was all very new to me. For a ten years old girl, who never did any house chores and who was only asked to study and play.

Once, I was also the apple of my Aai, Baba’s eye. Baba used to call me ‘princess’. We were not rich but Aai, Baba took good care of me. Aai wanted me to study well and had dreamed of a government job for me.

I still remember that day, when my result was declared. I stood first in the class. Baba brought my favorite butterscotch ice cream.

The next day, the lockdown was declared due to some uninvited guests in the world. This dreadful virus created devastation in so many lives including mine. I never wanted this virus to enter the world leave alone my home. I and Aai got confined to the house but baba needed to work.

Schools, offices, and shops all got closed. Baba too stayed at home for few days. But he needed money to feed three mouths. So, he had to move out of the house for work.

Both Aai and I were worried for Baba.

Few months passed and things were returning to normal or we thought so when baba caught this deadly virus. He was not keeping well for few days and Aai was taking care of him.

They didn’t allow me to come near them. Aai too contracted the virus after a few days. They needed medical care but none was available. No one came to help us. Finally, when they got the medical care, it was too late. Both left this world leaving behind me, all alone.

I was hungry and my neighbours fed me. One of them managed to contact some of my relatives and one of them took me along with them, reluctantly. After a few weeks, I reached here.

This family is nice. But I miss my Aai, Baba. More so, when they snuggle and caress their kids. It seems like ages when someone cuddled me. I hugged myself and cried through the night, till sleep took over me.

This uninvited and unwanted virus has taken everything from me and many more children like me.

Sooner or later this virus has to leave this place but the marks left by this virus will take their own sweet time before they get erased.

P.S. One of the secondary impacts of COVID-19 is children orphaned or bereft of their caregiver. These children often face adverse consequences, including poverty, abuse, and institutionalization.

 Globally, more than a million children experienced the death of their caregivers. Orphanhood, defined by UNICEF as the death of one or both parents and the death of caregivers can have severe consequences. As deaths occur within weeks, children and family members are not prepared for the trauma they experience. This can impact children in the form of developmental delays, abuse, mental health problems, sexual violence, and poverty. There is the risk of adolescent pregnancy, the risk of suicide, and an increase in cases of chronic illness and HIV.

As per the National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR), more than 30000 children in India have lost a parent or were abandoned due to COVID-19.

Maharashtra has been the worst affected.

We controlled COVID-19 eventually but the childhoods of the children who are orphaned due to this virus are never going to come back.

Let Me Live This Moment

 

I am Rahul. I’m five years old. I know because there were five candles on my birthday cake. My mom told me that my birthday cake would have six candles next year. I have a younger brother too. Mehul. His birthday cake had just one candle. He is the best gift my parents gave me.

My parents love me. But people outside my family give me anxiety. They give me strange glances and inquire about my parents. They talk about some milestones that I haven’t yet achieved. They say my speech is delayed. I have trouble communicating my feelings. I get tongue-tied when I try to speak. Words fail me, but I understand everything. Mehul too doesn’t talk much. But people label him normal. He can't even walk straight. He often trips while walking. I try to support him or help him when he stumbles.

We play together and understand each other. We don't need words to understand each other’s feelings. But when Mehul cries, I too get restless. That is when I want Mom at my side, not Mehul’s.

Doctors had diagnosed me with Asperger’s syndrome. That means I fall on the Autism Spectrum. It was two years ago. It took some time before my parents could accept it. The last two years were tough for us. We were super busy with therapies and frequent visits to the doctor. My dad accompanied me each time. At first, my mom was expectant, and then Mehul came.

My family has come to terms with reality. We live a normal life, but social gatherings can become difficult for us. I feel lost and suffocated, but once I find a quiet corner, my imagination knows no bounds.

I have started going to kindergarten as well. I was scared in the beginning, but now I feel fine. Teachers are sensitive towards me, and so are most of the kids. A few kids get confused about my behaviour. I think they are ignorant souls. I try to ignore them till they start to shout at the top of their lungs. Did I tell you I can’t withstand noise? I become restless, and then I only need my mom.

Mom says I’m a keen observer. They stress this fact. But I find it normal. How can you not appreciate God’s wonderful creations? I like to observe birds, ants, sand, rain, and trees.

The other day I was playing on my balcony. It was airy. The air felt so nice. as if it whispered something in my ears. I tried to listen but it was gone. I wanted to, but I could not ask my mom. I wonder what the breeze says? I’ll try to listen carefully next time.

We have a few planters on our balcony. I love to watch them. Birds come and sit on our parapet. I want to have a close look, but each time I try to approach, they fly away.

I can’t eat on my own. I spill and scatter my food a lot. I’m still learning. But I’m fine as long as my family is with me.

That day, my mom was helping me with my food and Mehul was playing around us when I caught sight of this tiny ant. It was stealing my food from the floor. I tried to block its way, but it changed its route and kept on moving. The crumbs of bread it was carrying were way bigger than its whole body. When Mehul was about to crush it under his foot, I saved her under the cup of my palm. His foot did hurt me a little, but I was happy I could save her.

People think I’m weird, but I think they are. Why can’t they follow me? I don't understand. Why do I need to fit in with their standards? Can’t they try to fit into mine?

I’m happy the way I am. I have my own pace. I’m in no hurry. Only if, you could wait a little while and let me enjoy my moments just like my parents allow me to.

The Reflection

 As a kid, I always loved looking in the mirror and felt good about what I saw. I always found an attractive soul reflecting from that mirror who looked at me admiringly. I did the same in return, admired the image inside that mirror. I simply didn’t see any flaws. 

Two vibrant eyes with all the kindness, an innocent face, and a beautiful smile. I saw what I wanted to see and what was there in my heart. Same I found in others. I saw beauty, inside and outside, because that was the only thing I knew. The world was a beautiful place and all the inmates were beautiful, till the world started exhibiting to me some faults in myself and also in others! Maybe their mirrors were different from what I had. After all, mine was an old, second-hand piece.

That day, I accompanied my mother to her workplace. I wanted to play with the toys of the acquaintances in the house but I wasn’t allowed. They said I was not clean enough and they made me sit outside on the floor. I tried to peep in. It was a beautiful, palatial house. A large mirror was mounted in the living area. I looked at my reflection and didn’t find myself beautiful. “What happened to the girl who accompanied Amma in the morning?” I asked myself.

I picked up a stick from the ground and imagined it was a doll. I often used to play with these kinds of imaginary dolls. They always served the purpose perfectly fine and always made a beautiful toy for me. But today I imagined it was me. It wanted to play with the real me. I scolded it, “You aren’t as clean.” Its surface was so rough and muddy. That day I could only see ugliness in it. The dry rough and grimy. I wanted to but I couldn’t play with it. Then I looked at my hands and found the skin wasn’t as soft as it used to be.

I wanted to go back to my house and have a look in that magic mirror. Surely that was a magic mirror as I always found myself beautiful and clean in it. 

Why was Amma taking so long to finish her work? I didn't like it there. I wanted to go back and clean myself first and then have a look at my beautiful reflection. I needed to do that to acquire my self-esteem back. 

Amma came back after some time which appeared to me like eons. On reaching home, first I cleaned myself. Amma asked, why was I scrubbing myself so much. I didn’t reply. Just kept on scrubbing.

The mirror wasn't the same, the reflection wasn't the same. I was no longer as beautiful as I used to be. My imaginary toys too lost all the charm and sheen.

What happened? The mirror wasn’t good enough or the eyes staring in it had changed? I was made to notice the unattractive me and the world. I was looking through a curtain of dubiety.

It took a long time to realize that the dirty mirror shows a dirty image. When I was rubbing my eyes to have a clear reflection all I needed to do was free my mirror from that curtain and my reflection would have been as clear and beautiful as it used to be.